Finding My Voice

I’ve spent my whole life trying to define myself, often by trying on bits and pieces of personas around me that I have admired.

In my younger years this was apparent in my journals in a very cringe-worthy manner. My voice was clearly not my own and I had so much growing to do. It was obvious I thought myself brilliant, of course, and I was going to keep these journals until the end of my days. I would share them with my children so I could espouse my youthful wisdom to them later in life. I got older. I read them again. I thanked the universe for my ability to learn and grow, for the answer “no,” and I burned some and threw away the others.

I quit journaling altogether for so many years. Until I was given a journal with a faerie on it for Christmas last year. My love for writing was renewed, and I learned to appreciate it for what it was meant to be, an outlet for myself. It was one of a few special key moments that brought me to the realization that what I really wanted in life was to write in a way that brought others joy and encouragement.

As I embark on this journey to encourage others, I am often overcome by fear. I mean, how am I qualified to encourage or teach anyone? I’m always scattered. I’ve collected bits about vernacular, self love, forgiveness, extreme parenting, looking back and looking forward, your own way being the right way, getting dressed to shoes, routines and on and on from family, friends, books, and the World Wide Web. (Thank you Mamma in the Rocks, FlyLady, and so many more that I would name if not for being half asleep.)

I was beginning to feel like a fraud and so I became silent. But as lay here awake, unable to sleep in the middle of the night I need to tell you something I just realized. As we pick up the pieces of brilliance and joy we find around us and fold them into ourselves, we create them anew. And our representation of this inspiration becomes our voice. And my voice was meant to encourage, and so that’s what I will continue to do. To whoever is reading this today, you’ve seen it many times over and I’ll say it again: you are loved, you are important, you matter, and you belong here.