Posted in Mental Health

Emerging From the Fire and Into the Flame

How do we find our fire again, now that we are finally recovering from the world burning down? I feel like I’m walking out of my front door naked with nothing but an emergency blanket around me, wide eyed and disheveled. Trying to convince myself again that the future is bright, that it is ok to dream, that it’s ok to continue to try. Continue to explore and create and fail and laugh and succeed.

I wonder how the rest of the world is feeling right now? Do you feel like you’re emerging from a disheveled trauma, too? It’s hard, sometimes, to trust that things can be good. But then again, sometimes it’s good to know what we were missing, so we can appreciate it again. We make it to more appointments than we used to now. We talk to our friends and family more now. We make stronger efforts to see their beautiful faces, in person. Suddenly, even going to the store is about one thousand percent less awful. There is so much visible joy on people’s faces where I used to only see threats and scowls.

There seems to be a palpable excitement about being alive. A delicious appreciation for the simple things and freedoms once taken for granted. There’s courtesy in the stores, respectful distances, excuse me’s and smiles. I know, of course, that not everything is sunshine and it never will be. But the sunshine feels just a bit more like golden honey dripping down on my skin that it used to, and therein lies the gift of weathering a long storm.

Perhaps, this time, we will do better. Perhaps we won’t. Regardless, I’m rather grateful that we still have the opportunity to decide whether or not to try. And with that, I will embrace my fire for living and trying and loving and I hope you get to, too.


I am a dreamer with her head in the clouds and one foot on the ground. Written word flows from me as a river does down a mountainside, and writing of any kind is something I do with great joy. I am an artist, an avid student of color theory and appreciator of DaVinci, Dali, and Dorothea Tanning. I am a student seeking to learn for the rest of her days. I am a wife who loves her husband for all he is, and a mother who loves her children for the same. I am me, and can only use words to describe what I do, not so much who I am.

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