Hot Mess Happiness

I often struggle with what to say, because there is always so much. So much on my mind, so much on my plate. So many struggles from so many different executive functioning deficits. Where to start, and how to plan, and scheduling difficulties, etc.

My closest friends and family work in much the same way. There are a few exceptions that really seem to have their poop in a group, with their clean houses and good memory of commitments. Even they forget a few things here and there. But they are also such an inspiration.

I have found January to be that long “Monday of the year” we keep seeing memes about. There are financial struggles that can dampen even the brightest of triumphs. There are days when it feels like even my therapist hates me. She doesn’t. (The fact that I can write those two sentences next to one another is evidence that she’s a good therapist.)

And so I find myself struggling with finances and scheduling, with health problems and a lackluster interest in things.

I take a deep breath and continue my mantra that I will not keep attracting these things with “could it be any worse,” “I needed more problems in my life,” etc. I will keep my eyes, heart, ears and soul open for joy and abundance.

I will relish in and cherish the friendships and family I have. I will be grateful for their forgiveness of my awful moods and continue to know I can do better, and will continue to do better. I will know that I and those around me deserve love, joy and stability and because we know it to be true we will find it.

I will relish in the knowledge that I am a part of my tribe. This tribe that knows what it’s like to be in the middle of some hot mess happiness.